Have you ever watched someone you love slowly die? I have. It was my grand parents. My grandpa was slowly drinking himself to death. My grandma was a diabetic that was frightened to leave the house. I watched my grandpa get sicker and sicker as he fought his illness. I had watched him go in and out of the hospital. My grandpa was dying from alchohal poisoning. My grandma was on a breathing tube. Without it she couldn’t breath.
She had always yelled and strained herself. She also went in and out of the hospital. I think the only reason my grandparents fought for their life is for our family. I personally think that my grandparents knew that if they left the family would fall apart. My grandparents were the soul to the family once they were gone my uncle stopped talking to us. Although my grandpa was dying he did not show that he was weak. He got up went to work, came home, and took care of the family. My grandma did the same she got up, go garden, cook dinner, take her pill, and acted like she was not sick. They fought for their life until they could not fight any more. After my grandparents died, my uncle kicked us out of our house.
Kirra
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5 comments:
Kirra,
Thank you for sharing your story. I too have watched my grandparents pass away and can relate. Your emotions are shown through your writing, most notably your use of descriptive language, which is what drew me in and made me want to keep reading. The way you depict your grandparents in your story made it easy for me to picture them in my head. I can see that they were a very strong, supporting part of your family, which was easy to gather due to the descriptions and language you use.
Kayla CO150-89
This is some really good writing. I wanted to read more the longer you wrote. You used some great details which really played with my emotions. I could picture this sad story clearly in my head with the words and details you used in your writing. Keep up the writing you have the ability to express your ideas very well and detailed.
Randy CO150-001
You do include information that is very empathetic to the audience. Providing the information about your grandparents like you did does allow the audience to glimpse at what hardships you and your family faced during those times, which is very good. Maybe one thing to consider writing down is how you felt when your grandparents passed away. I don't want to cross any boundaries of your personal feelings, but giving your emotional appeal is what makes this narrative introduction a strong, well spoken paragraph(s). So continue on in that direction of explaining how you and your family coped with such distraught circumstances. So far it sounds good (and very sad at the same time).
Wow Kirra,
This is intense. I think you really capture a lot of emotion in this writing. I'm experiencing something like that with my grandma, she's currently live in a lock-down facility for old folks with Alzheimers. I like your writing style, and how you lay it out there and show people your story. I know that sometimes talking about some stuff really helps you move on. I think you should keep writing about stuff like this, maybe in a diary? Write about the good and the bad, and when you're done writing about the bad, go back and read some of the good... it'll help brighten up your day.
-Matt Schnitzler CO150-089
Wow. I cant think of what to say to describe what you made me think and feel reading through this. just keep your head up.
Mike F.
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